EAST CHAMPARAN, BIHAR: Social activist, Ravi Kumar of East Champaran, Bihar was forced to bribe the local government doctor in order to receive treatment after he was taken violently ill as a result of a 4-day hunger strike against corruption.
Sources tell the Times of Bullshit that Kumar, 43, had embarked on the fast in order to do his bounden duty towards his nation and eradicate the one scourge that was holding it back--corruption. Consequently, he chose the village square as his spot and began his fast-unto-death in full view of everyone, which, as his brother helpfully informed us, was so that "everybody could see he was not cheating".
Things went well for the first three days as Kumar embarked on his crusade against graft. His health seemed fine as well although by the end of the third day he was getting increasingly insistent on the point that people address him as Mahatma or at least Bapu. Having called him Pappu all throughout his life, the village people found this a bit difficult to stomach. However, by mid day on the fourth day an amicable compromise had been struck and it was decided that the honorific ji, as in Kumarji, would be added to his name.
However, only a couple of hours later disaster struck as debilitating stomach cramps hit Kumariji. This was followed by him throwing up blood. Alarmed, his supporters rushed him to the nearest government dispensary which was some way away in the next village. There, he had to pay 4 times the normal amount of Rs 20 to get treated by a doctor who attended to Kumarji while also simultaneously using his little finger to try and dig out ear boogers with considerable vigour. In the dispensary, Kumarji refused to comment on his next anti-corruption move.