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Monday, March 23, 2009

After Britishers, Congress drives Cricket back to Britain

With the IPL to be played in England, the Congress Party has successfully managed to chase the British game of cricket out of India. In a long drawn out struggle, the Party fought valiantly to wipe out all vestiges of the British, including the game of cricket. Mass movement were led which insisted that Indians play Indian games like Kabbadi, Kho kho and ‘Will Your Paan Spit Hit the Wall?’ and tonnes of foreign-made sports equipment were burnt (including abdominal guards, which were anyways too big for us)

The Congress President was triumphant as she announced that, “India does not need European imports, thank you.”

IPL authorities, decried for being agents of imperialism, faced up to the defeat as best they could. Vijay Mallya, wearing Gandhi’s spectacles, criticised the Indian government for being short-sighted. “We had no choice but to Quit India,” he said.

Another IPL team owner, Shahrukh Khan, was shot while he was trying to broker peace. The country erupted in joy at the news that the asshole was no more and promptly went and watched Anurag Kashyap’s latest release, ‘Gulaal’. However, his last two words will forever live on in our memory as he was killed trying to make the world a better place for himself: “Karan Johar”.

Indians living abroad, however, have reacted positively to the news. Said London-based Ravi Kumar: “The IPL was born in India but migrated abroad as soon as it got the chance. This proves that the IPL is as Indian as they come.”

21 comments:

Rakesh said...

Vijay Malya wearing Gandhi spectacles :-D, quite apt - We had no choice but to Quit India...

And the last line just nailed it. This is actually the context of my post as well.

Btw, I've linked your post to mine :)

Tarun Goel said...

:D
Poor Indians....was expecting something from you on the Charle-Vivekanada issue :)

Sivakrishna said...

ha ha....nice....!!!

Indyeah said...

LOL!
and Karan Johar?Brilliant touch!:D

Hades said...

@ Rakesh - Thanks for the link.

@Tarun - What is this 'Charle-Vivekanada issue'?

@Siva - Thanks, dude.

Hades said...

Oops...thanks Indyeah.

Saket said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Saket said...

Quite aptly TOI today put the headline as Indian Phoren League. Shame on the politicians who made the matter of security so big. If a Chief Minister of a state cannot guarantee security to a bunch of few players, how can we the voters feel safe at the same place when another drama that I would also label IPL i.e. Indian Parliament League(elections) goes on at nearly the same time.

Nice work. Vijay Mallya wearing Gandhi spects and SRK calling the name of KJo. That further strengthens my doubts about KJo and now also SRK. Wanna enlighten me..

Biju Mathews said...

Ha Ha. Liked what Ravi Kumar said: “The IPL was born in India but migrated abroad as soon as it got the chance. This proves that the IPL is as Indian as they come.”

Gandhi's spectacles :-)
Karan Johar :-)

Keep blogging my dear!!

What's In A Name ? said...

"The Congress President was triumphant as she announced that, “India does not need European imports, thank you.”"

- Oh! What irony!

Tarun Goel said...

Hey!!! You don't know.
A movie director wanted to install a statue of Charlie Chaplin for his movie in Karnataka, but the sena's, dal's nd janta prties wanted him to install Vivekananda's statue instead of Charlie, U kknow Indian Culture and Sanskrtit which is more or less coming up as "Ungli Karo" culture nowadays :D

Garima Dipti said...

H.I.L.A.R.I.O.U.S.

:P

Pratz said...

=Ditto= (see above)

'Niroo' Ravi - Copywriter, Creative thinker, Blogger, Pot painter, Bongo banger, Angel, Devil, Freak said...

“The IPL was born in India but migrated abroad as soon as it got the chance. This proves that the IPL is as Indian as they come.”

Hahahah,,

nobody said...

//Will Your Paan Spit Hit the Wall?//

ROTFL :D

Rakesh said...

Hades, Dada is out of captaincy!!! Though I'm loving it, I'm sure you'll have some choicest post for John Buchanan!!!

Hades said...

@All: Thanks for liking it.

@Rakesh: Parochialism apart, you must admit it is a wierd move. Four captians for one series? Rotation of captains during one match? I mean if Buchanan can pull it off, well and good otherwise his goose is cooked.

But the press con was damn funny, man. Ganguly is hell of a pouter!

Rakesh said...

Hades, go easy on these huge words man. I've to rush to google every time.

But yes, agree on your point though, that the move seems stupid. Even if it shows results, it'll be only by chance. It defies all logic (and whatever is taught in management books).

I think it has only been done so he can drop Saurav from a few matches. It's the same problem team India had. He wasn't fit for being selected as a player but he had to be there coz. he was captain.

Tazeen said...

///However, his last two words will forever live on in our memory as he was killed trying to make the world a better place for himself: “Karan Johar”.///


Somehow, I can very easily picture this scene, and the SRK's voice when he said .... Kkkkkkkkaran

Vikram said...

And now that its abroad, the IPL will begin to rediscover cricket's 'Hindu culture and heritage'.

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