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Friday, November 7, 2008

Path Breaking Movie Exposes Fashion Industry


The Indian people caught up as they are in the humdrum of life—bomb blasts, sons-of the-soil protests, legalising homosexuality—often miss the finer points of life. I am, of course, talking about fashion.


People have made sincere attempts though to educate us, though; FTV, for example. Educational shows such as Midnight Hot and my personal favourite: The Making of the Pirelli Calendar, have no doubt taught many a young man the importance of the right clothes—or the lack thereof, at any rate.


And in spite of the hostile reactions that these noble attempt at fashion education have received, Madhur Bhandarkar (a.k.a. Caricature Man) has bravely gone ahead and made his own film in order to educate us on the inner workings of the fashion world.


“The name of the movie, I knew, had to set the tone of the movie. It had to be classy like fashion itself. Fashion was therefore an obvious choice. It’s subtle too, just like the actual movie” says a beaming Bhandarkar.


Fashion goes on to teach the Indian public each and everything there is to know about the fashion world. Bhandarakar exposes the underlying homosexuality of ALL male fashion designers (sadly, all the women are straight, saala); ridicules the morality of small town girls who refuse to drink, smoke or have casual sex and then goes on to ridicules the morality of the rich and famous who drink, smoke and have casual sex.


No topic is taboo for Caricature Man who claims to be an “iconoclast”. Drugs for example: Models are shown to be snorting Coke with impunity—I guess snorting coke in public, unlike smoking cigarettes, is legal. Kangana Raunat’s character, when on screen, is either snorting cocaine or, in her more sober moods, is drinking.


Bhandarkar also takes on the subject of race and, as is his wont, swims against the tide. In these Obama-times, Priyanka’s character is an unabashed racist. She realises that she has reached her nadir only after waking up from an alcohol-induced one-night stand with a Black man.


Fashion shows us the sheer stress that these models go through and how tough their job actually is. Priyanka Chopra has a panic attack as she tries to attempt the extremely difficult and nerve-wracking task of walking 50 meters from one end of the ramp to the other. It’s a heart-wrenching scene.


The story ends with hope, though. Priyanka, by sheer force of will and support from her friends and family, does manage to walk 54 meters on the ramp this time.

18 comments:

anishmitra said...

nice one...will have to watch the movie now!

Shoaib Daniyal said...

Thanks, Anish.

And some advice from a person who cares about your general mental well being : DON'T WATCH THE MOVIE.

Anonymous said...

Agree with u man. it was a horrible movie.

Siddharth said...

haha...fuck, dude,yr right the movie had no lesbians!

jhayu said...

(sadly, all the women are straight, saala)

There go any chances of me watching this film.. =P

Shoaib Daniyal said...

^^^(Flicks wrist and twists neck at 45 degree angle)

Ooh, God! You men are soo cheap, you know.

Anonymous said...

shitiest blog ive seen

What's In A Name ? said...

You make me feel that I saved some money by not watching this film in a theater.

Will wait for your take on 'Dostana' which ostensibly is about a well-toned siren trapped between two gay guys.

ReturnofTheAsh said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReturnofTheAsh said...

good post!
this movie is so much full of shit that i didnt feel like eating for 2 days after watching it.

Shoaib Daniyal said...

@ What's in a name


You're right. I sure did! And people say blogging is a waste of time!

@ return of the ash

A rather graphic description but on the money, nonetheless.

Tazeen said...

I always wonder when i see crappy films or read reviews about crappy films. Do they not watch the rushes, do they not watch the rough cut, do they not watch it on editing? Why pour so much money into something which is not worth it.
Smart people cant find money to make smart films and bozos make crappy films that people actually pay money to go see and then bitch .

Shoaib Daniyal said...

Tazeen,

Ah! But there is a point, Tazeen - to make money. :)

Seriously. Fashion is actually a big hit.

Frank Zappa had once said, "The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity"

This if you're clever you'd make films to appeal to this large market.

Anonymous said...

Opulently I acquiesce in but I dream the post should acquire more info then it has.

Proserpina said...

“The name of the movie, I knew, had to set the tone of the movie. It had to be classy like fashion itself. Fashion was therefore an obvious choice. It’s subtle too, just like the actual movie” says a beaming Bhandarkar.

-->I can't stop laughing.

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Anonymous said...

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