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Showing posts with label God. Show all posts
Showing posts with label God. Show all posts

Monday, February 24, 2014

The Withdrawal of Doniger’s Book and the RSS link



First Published on NewsYaps

“If you don't want a man unhappy, don't give him two sides to a question to worry him; give him one. Better yet, give him none.”
--Captain Beatty, Fahrenheit 451

On the day Wendy Doniger’s The Hindus: An Alternative History was withdrawn by publisher Penguin under pressure from right-wing fundamentalists, it would seem rather apt to recall Ray Bradbury’s dystopic novel, Fahrenheit 451, describing a future where books are banned altogether and "firemen" hunt down and burn any that are found. And while parallels between the India of today and Bradbury’s vision are a dime a dozen, what’s interesting are the striking similarities between the character of Captain Beatty, the fire chief who hates books for forcing us to think and Dinanath Batra, chief petitioner in the case which forced Penguin to withdraw The Hindus.

A lot of people have reacted to the news of a book being banned or withdrawn with confusion. Confounded, they ask why anyone would do such a thing. What’s the point?

Good question.

To answer that we would have to delve a bit into the personal history of our modern-day, desi Captain Beatty, Mr Dinanath Batra.

A lot of us might not know off Mr Batra or might have heard of him for the first time during this controversy. Dinanath Batra, though, is a very old player at this game.

Batra is—no prizes whatsoever for guessing—a member of the RSS. And not an ordinary member, mind you. He heads the Vidya Bharati Akhil Bharatiya Shiksha Sansthan, the educational arm of the RSS. As per its own statistics, the organisation runs over 13 thousand school in almost 600 hundred districts across India.

Apart from his pioneering and thorough work in setting up these school which, as per Vidya Bharati’s website, would act as an alternative to “Christian convent-schools” and spread education “which has its roots in Hindutva”, Batra first hit the headlines approximately a decade back when the RSS’ political arm, the BJP was in power.

When the BJP took power in 1999 they came in with a clear agenda with regard to education: saffronise it. In this endeavour, Batra led the vanguard, attacking history textbooks authored by Romila Thapar, RS Sharma, Satish Chandra and Arjun Dev for being “against Indian culture”. In a book edited by Mr Batra, called The Enemies of Indianisation: The Children of Marx, Macaulay and Madarsa one can find an article listing 41 "distortions" in the NCERT books. As luck would have it, the NCERT director at the time, JS Rajput was a contributor to the book as well. And, of course, the education ministry was headed by dyed-in-the-wool swayamsevak, Murli Manohar Joshi. As a result, so impressed was the BJP government with this book and its “distortions” that it took notice of them and proceeded to act. On the orders of the Central Board of Secondary Education a number of “offensive” passages were deleted from NCERT textbooks.

Flush with victory, our man, Mr Batra explained these deletions with some impeccable logic: ‘Jesus Christ was a najayaz (illegitimate) child of Mary but in Europe they don’t teach that. Instead, they call her Mother Mary and say she is a virgin’.

Right, then.

After tackling this issue and getting the BJP government to bend to his demand, Mr Batra shifted his attention to a universally acknowledged problem: the presence of sex education. In a country where overpopulation and STDs are major problems, Mr Batra has threatened a massive agitation against sex education and warned of an “an attempt to impart sex-education through pornography, radio and television”.

It is little wonder that in the petition submitted against The Hindus by Mr Batra, one of his charges is that the book’s approach to “Hindu scriptures has been sexual“ something the petition tries to explain by claiming that Doniger’s “approach is that of a woman hungry of sex”.

Now someone being a raving crank is hardly front page news. God knows there are enough of them everywhere. What is disconcerting is the level of power a person of his views enjoys within an organisation such as the RSS. Although, again, that in itself is nothing particularly surprising. Given that the RSS considers gentlemen like Golwalkar to be thoughtleaders, the real surprise would be if the organisation could ever produce a person who can think straight.  Antediluvian ideologues such as the ones Batra holds, I dare say, are the RSS norm rather than the exception.

The scary, dystopic bit though is that these crank and fundamentalists have been given access to the highest levels of political power. Batra, a person who thinks Doniger is wrong because her approach is a symptom of her “hunger for sex”, was a person who drove thinking for the education ministry on what they should or should not include in textbooks that would shape the minds of millions of children across the country.

And of course, Batra is small fry really. Our main opposition party and one that would, in all probability, hold the reigns of the next federal government is controlled structurally to a large extent by the RSS and is staffed almost completely by people who have gone through and have had their worldview shaped by the RSS.

Somehow, one gets the feeling that this book “withdrawal” is just a trailer. Picture to abhi baqi hai, mere dost.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

Protector or Protectee?

In a review of Ramchandra’s Gandhi’s Sita's Kitchen: a testimony of faith and inquiry, historian Vinay Lal recounts this episode from the life of Swami Vivekanada:
The famous Indian monk had gone to Kashmir towards the end of his life; anguished over the invader's desecration and destruction of countless images of Hindu Gods and Goddesses, and filled with rage at "this humiliating testimony of history", he approached the Divine Mother in a Kali temple, and falling at her feet, asked: "How could you let this happen, Mother, why did you permit this desecration?" On the swami's own testimony, Kali is reported to have said: "What is it to you, Vivekananda, if the invader breaks my images. Do you protect me, or do I protect you?
Of course, the irony of men having to protect God completely escapes some people.

Today, the Times of India reported that the VHP has come out against the Allahabad High Court judgement which awarded one -third of the land on which the Babri Masjid stood to Ram Lalla; the organisation feels He deserved the full 67 acres. And just in case the irony hadn’t been enough, the VHP also said that only the VHP-affiliated Ram Janmabhoomi Nyas could build the temple at the spot as it had that authority from Ram Lalla himself.

Sigh.

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An earlier post on why we feel the need to protect our gods: Oh My God

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Now You be Nice to Him

In spite of the criticism she’s faced from many quarters, Karen Armstrong is not a bad read really. However, I couldn’t but help have a chuckle at this :


Whether we like it or not, God is here to stay, and it’s time we found a way to live with him in a balanced, compassionate manner.


It’s almost as if a harried mother is trying to make peace between two squabbling, preadolescent siblings.

Also, why God is just, and maybe sometimes too just: Devout criminal exposed by CCTV cameras.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

The Nobelman: Obama Wins Peace Prize

Barack Obama, Supreme Commander of the most destructive conventional and nuclear military in the world, was awarded the Nobel Prize for peace on Friday.

The news was greeted with unbridled joy and a sense of vindication by many who believe that Obama is just one in a long line of prophets sent by Him to deliver peace, prosperity and good oratory to the world. However, there were quite a few doubting Thomases too who were a bit surprised that Obama could have risen so quickly and whether he deserved a Nobel at all.

The Nobel committee’s explanation for the award, though, was simple: “As the first non-Bush US President after George Bush, Obama was an obvious choice. Here’s a President who, in nine months, hasn’t started a war, hasn’t wrecked the global economy and hasn’t raped the English Language. What more could you want?”

George Bush reacted to the statement by reemphasising that “Human beings and fish can coexist peacefully”.

The Nobel, though, had an immediate effect as the US Government, in a move to celebrate the Prize, has ordered the cessation of drone attacks in Waziristan for a whole day.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

Delhi HC Judgement Brings Communal Harmony to India At Last

Religious leaders across board showed rare camaraderie and unity to come together as one big happy family and denounce the Delhi HC judgement making homosexuality legal in India. The judgement has bought in its wake unprecedented communal amity among India’s religious leaders—remarkable in a country prone to frequent communal violence.

The Delhi High Court had passed the judgement on Thursday, appropriately invoking Nehru’s words while declaring that section 377 would not be applicable “in so far as it criminalises consensual sexual acts of adults in private”.

Says the VHP’s Giriraj Kishore: “I am thrilled to see our fellow heterosexual Muslim and Christian clergy brothers stand up for what I think is right. Western influences like homosexuality, Islam and Christianity have no place in our country.”

His views were echoed by the Jamaat-e-Islami-Hind who came out strongly against the judgement terming homosexuality as a haram act that only haramis would indulge in. “We strongly condemn the awarding of equal rights to homosexuals, women and other freaks of nature”, opined the All India Muslim Personal Law Board.

Religious leaders are thinking of launching a mass protest programme as well as educate the public about the dangers that homosexuality poses to the country. “We will try and do our best to force Indians to put their privates where we want them”, said a religious leader who did not wish to be named.

Lay Indians, on the other hand, remained largely apathetic to the judgement. In fact, doubts still remain as to the full implications of the judgement and whether it will be applicable even outside Delhi. “Will lesbo porn now be legal?”, asked Ravi Kumar, 20.

In related news, seven people have died of irony after hearing that the Catholic Church in India is opposed to legalising homosexuality as it would “increase paedophilia”.

Saturday, January 24, 2009

Messiah Sworn in as President of the United States

The One True Prophet of the One True God was anointed as the Messiah of the United States of America on Tuesday.

Huge crowds gathered to watch the Messiah being baptised by John the Chief Justice. A Holy Book used by Abraham, who the Messiah is said to greatly revere, was used for the ceremonies.

People from around the world reacted with elation and joy to see the new messiah bring hope to a beaten land. The Messiah is expected to end all war and injustice in this world as well as teach Delhiwalas that honking at traffic lights is a sin in the eyes of God.

The Messiah, in his coronation speech, promised America that he “was the way”. He addressed the greatest crisis that the US now faces, the Recession, and criticised Wall Street for “leading us into temptation”. He promised to address the burgeoning trade deficit with China and urged the Chinese to “forgive us our debts” and also assured Pakistan that America would “forgive its debtors” if they reined in terror. In spite of the great anger against the earlier ruler of the Land, the ever merciful Messiah did utter nary a diatribe against him and, in fact, asked the American public to “forgive him for he knew not what he did”.

Verily, the miracle of the Messiah was confirmed in the Promised Land too, as people saw stars, made of White Phosphorous, in fact, rain down on them from the East.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

Dilli Dur Ast


My father, while visiting me in Delhi, suddenly decided that he needed to visit the Nizamuddin dargah, that too on a Friday. Not that my father is a very religious person but I guess if he had to fill in his Orkut/Facebook profile he’d put in something like “spiritual but not religious”. 

Now the problem with these places is the bloody crowd. For some reason, God and the people who get you to Him are an awfully popular lot and so it was with thedargah too. The only saving grace was that since we were visiting the place at the time of the Jumma Namaz, a large number of people had at least had a bath. The same can hardly be said of, say, a bus or a railway reservation counter. 

The area around the dargah itself was a typical Muslim mohallah of the type seen in Central Calcutta. Narrow dingy lanes with a profusion of small hotals selling extremely delicious food—Qormas, Qalias, Niharis, kheeri—as long as you don’t mind that from time to time, the man roasting your kawab, scratches his kawab through the folds of his lungi. 




In the background is Ghalib’s tomb which, as far as I could see, had no visitors.

 For those unable to read Devanagri: The two posters are wishing people for Eid. The one on the left belongs to the BJP, while the other belongs to the BSP.


Getting to the dargah meant passing through a number of narrow galis selling all manners of knick-knacks. There were wall hangings with the first Qalma, key chains with the number 786, Urdu books on Shahrukh Khan and quite a few shops selling, what they called, “Islamic VCDs and cassettes”—as if just having a dargah wasn’t enough to make Abd al-Wahhab turn in his grave.  

The entrance had, what has become a Delhi staple—a metal detector. The detector was defunct, though—a clear sign of the Delhi Police’s faith in the saint. After all if the saint can’t protect his own tomb, what good is he? 




The people of the area get the BJP’s support

Born to a father named Daniyal in 1238, Nizamuddin Auliya was obviously destined for greatness. Moving to Delhi at the age of five from his birthplace in UP, he performed wondrous miracles which elevated him from the status of a mere mortal to a celebrated saint—cursing the city of Tughlaqabad to ruin, predicting the death of emperor Ghiyas-ud-Din Tughluq and even having a gay partner in Amir Khusrau, the royal poet of the Delhi Sultanate. 



Fast eroding values

In fact, the complex also houses Khursrau’s grave which wears a rather deserted look. The only two people there were a couple of bored teenage boys, dressed in spotless kurta-pajamas, discussing the upcoming India-Australia series.  

Auliya’s tomb, serviced by no less that two split ACs, was , on the other hand, was bustling with people lining up to offer a chadar to the saint, shepherded by a man who kept on shouting “beware of pick-pockets”.  

The saint is obviously a lot more effective against bombers.


Note: The first picture is from Wikipedia. The rest have been taken by me.

Friday, July 11, 2008

Interview with God

Our interviewee today needs no introduction, and I’m not just saying this! Responsible for the entire universe you see around you, ladies and gentlemen, I present to you – GOD!

God in a "light" mood


Times of Bullshit: It’s been a long time since your last interview, God. What’s this allergy to the press? The last time was on Mt. Sinai to Moses, if I’m not wrong.

God: Yes, it has been a long time. Actually I was misquoted by the press after the Mt. Sinai interview. You know how irritating that is for people like us. Hence I boycotted the press after that.

ToB: Misquoted? How?

G: Well see, and this is, I believe, a very serious matter. I had distinctly mentioned one of the ten commandments as: “You shall not covet your neighbour’s donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbour.” It’s even mentioned in the Bible, but you slimy press people misquoted the “donkey” as “ass” and the next day I see the newspapers screaming out:

“God, an Ass man? Tells people not to covet asses; silent on breasts”

It really infuriated me, you know. And since I already mentioned that I the Lord your God am a jealous God, punishing children for the iniquity of parents, to the third and the fourth generation of those who reject me, I boycotted the press. Simple!



Lalit Modi Disobeys God's commandment not to covet Asses.
(pic courtesy: greatbong.net)

ToB: Yes, this kind of yellow journalism has to stop.

G: Yup, it does. That’s why I’m going to choose my press people with a lot of care. Hence I’m giving this interview to you. After all you have such a pious name.

ToB: Err, yes, thank you for that God. Yes, now coming to the question on everybody's mind – why are you letting so many innocent people get killed day in and day out? I mean apart from the day-to-day killings we have special calamities like the earthquake in China, the cyclone in Burma…

G: Look, my man, I am doing the best I can. But you guys have to have some patience. After all I’m not God you know…

ToB: Ummm, sir, but you are!

G: Yes, yes…that I am. I didn’t mean it that way. It’s just that I don’t have a magic wand you know (hides his magic wand).

ToB: Ok…fair enough. Let’s move on, shall we? What’s this about you suing the state of Kerala?

G: See, in this day and age you have to respect intellectual property rights. Why even Ranbaxy had to bow down before the WTO because of it, so why am I any different? Why aren’t my IPRs being respected?

ToB: You’re talking about the “God’s own country” campaign?

G: Yes, I am. I mean, surely, if you are using my name for commercial purposes I should get a slice of the pie, no?

But this doesn’t surprise me a bit. A state that can elect those Godless commies to power can sink to any depths.

ToB: Yes, the atheists. Words out that you have to love lost for them.

G: Of course I have no love lost for them. Imagine how you’d feel if some pricks, one fine day decided that you don’t bloody exist! You’d me hopping mad too, you would. I hope this interview of yours can prove to those “atheists” what a bunch of fools they are.

ToB: To end off God and this is on every bodies mind, when will you end world hunger?

G: (laughs) God knows, my man, God knows….