Sunday, November 16, 2008

Fair and Lovely Dissapointed with Obama Win

In a shocking revelation The Times of Bullshit has learnt that Fair and Lovely, India was a major campaign contributor to the McCain Presidential campaign.

Says, the CEO of Fair and Lovely, who, intriguingly, did not want to be named:” A Bla, er…man with a wheatish complexion becoming the most powerful man in the world is disastrous for our brand.”

The amount is still undisclosed but the contribution came to light after a thorough reading the of the company’s quarterly report.

A spokesman (well, of all the people you can’t expect Fair and Lovely chaps to call it spokesperson) for the brand denied all wrong doing, though. “It was our democratic right as citizens of India, to support the US Presidential campaign,” says the spokesman, who says he is greatly inspired by Martin Luther King in his daily life.

The Times of Bullshit has also learnt that the brand is planning to overhaul its marketing strategy. Its next catch line will be: “Fairnes which allows you to achieve your dreams, unless you want to be President of America

Hindusthan Unilever, makers of Fair and Lovely, is also planning to introduce a skin darkening cream in the US to capitalize on the Obama win.

The marketing of the campaign will follow a similar theme to its previous ads: man runs for president; is rejected ‘cause he is too white (not too mention old, very old); he then uses the cream along with the revolutionary campaign theme “Yes, we most probably can” and wins this time around.

In other related news, Michael Jackson has attempted to kill his plastic surgeon after the Obama win.


Siddharth said...

fuckin hilarious!

jhayu said...

In other related news, Michael Jackson has attempted to kill his plastic surgeon after the Obama win.


Suchintya said...

the touch is back after a couple of posts I think.

Way to go man !!!

What's In A Name ? said...

“Fairnes which allows you to achieve your dreams, unless you want to be President of America" - well said.

Vaibhav said...

simply hilarious!!

maybe Emami can counter HUL by launching Dark and Handsome!

Satyajit said...

dude, u missed out on the point altogether. there is going to be no skin darkening cream....Fair and Lovdi will make sure Obama uses the cream and turns white. It will be victory for the white man....liberal enough to elect a black enough to turn him white.

Tazeen said...


Micheal Jackson's plastic surgeon is still alive???

I thought he must have committed suicide after having a look at his masterpiece

Shoaib Daniyal said...

Thanks for liking the post, people.


The whole Obama thingi, has, like a lot of other things in life, got distorted. There are basically three streams of thought about Obama:


2) Americans are slinky bastards. All this black-shack emancipation is just a farce to fool the world.

3) Damn! I have to watch news about the US Presidential elections cos they’ve shut down the serials due to the strike.

And I’d have to say that I’m somewhat with point 1.

Electing a president is more show than substance. Not many people actually go down and spend hours minutely analysing the voting records of candidates in Congress. Most people just vote on a vague feeling of what’s right. Most people, that is.

Now for those most people to have that vague feeling for a black man when most of those “most people” are white is quite remarkable, I feel.

Point 2 is a bit improbable cos it’s tough to get a blue-collar working in Wisconsin thinking: “Now won’t a Black President be really good for the foreign image of the US? So let me try and vote for a black man to fool the world but still maintain my iron-grip on America and the world economy. …Man, if I’m so clever why have I spent my entire life in dairy farming?”

Of course, a person who feels that the US is a totally egalitarian state where things like race, wealth and boob size don’t matter is deluded (the skin darkening thing was a bit of humorous hyperbole).

But at least the US is ahead of every other country on earth when it comes to awarding equal opportunities to people irrespective of the above mentioned attributes


Pertinent point really. :P

Anonymous said...

Hahaha really funny :D

Also, congrats on your post being selected amongst the funniest six on wordpress!

Shoaib Daniyal said...

Thanks, Amit.

And here's the thing Amit was talking about.

Sub-continent Declares War on China over no Cricket in Olympics is the post that has been selected as one of six in the 'most humorous category'

The final winner will be decided on the basis of a vote. So you guys can go out and vote for the post, if you want to, that is.

Anonymous said...

That Jacko collage alone gets you my everlasting devotion.

Shoaib Daniyal said...


Thank you.

And I hope Rahul is reading this. See, MS Paint does come in handy

Fauzia said...


Paradox Philic said...


Shoaib Daniyal said...

Thanks Fauzia and Paradox.

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