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Friday, December 26, 2008

Rab Ne Bana Di Ghajini

I never liked Superman all that much for two reasons—the same reasons I never liked Rab Ne Bana Di Jodi, in fact:

  1. How is Louise Lois Lane so dumb? How can she not recognise Superman as Clark Kent? Just because Superman doesn’t wear glasses and Clark Kent does? Of course, Yash Raj Films is a lot more intelligent than DC comics: They make Shahrukh Khan’s alter ego differentiate himself with glasses and a moustache. Quite smart, no? 
  2. Excess powers/acting: Can you really root for someone who is faster than a speeding bullet, is more powerful than a locomotive and can leap tall buildings in a single bound? A bit too much if you ask me. What are Shahrukh Khan’s superpowers, you ask? Acting. And just like Superman he does too much of it. 

Of course, if you really want to watch a movie with a super hero, you’ve got to watch Ghajini. If Rab De was copied from the love story of Louise Lane and Superman, Ghajini is apparently inspired from the Hulk. 

The movie stars Aamir Khan as a person who suffers from short term memory loss—he can’t remember things for more than 15 minutes—a result of getting hit on the head as he battled unsuccessfully to stop his lady love from getting murdered.  The only clue he has, to take his revenge, is the name of his wife’s killer—her last words whispered into his ear—Ghajini. Imagine if the killer’s name had been, say, Ravi—best of luck finding the killer then, chump. 

Apart from that Ghajini has other delightful stuff to keep you entertained, IF YOU GREW UP IN THE 80s, THAT IS: 

  1. A super strong Hero. I’m talking really strong here—chairs break on his back like toothpicks; baseball bats (why baseball bats?) bounce of his booby-like pecks; one punch makes a gunda's head snap around, Exorcist-ishtyle.
  2. An Evil Man as the Villain. He wears thick gold chains and white pants. I told you he was evil.
  3. Hero falls in love because the Heroine is a chirpy, happy-go-lucky girl with a golden heart who is seen by the Hero helping out the following:
    i)              Disabled school girls (gets them into a museum)
    ii)            Old blind man (makes him cross street)
    iii)          Poor girls (saves them from being trafficked as part of the flesh and illegal  organs trade)
  4. Hero enters Villains den and beats up all the small gundas with consummate ease. He then comes face to face with the Villain. Reminded me of the 8-bit video games I used to play.
  5. Villain, on seeing Hero, lets out a blood curling battle cry. The Hero then proceeds to beat the stuffing out of him.
  6. Villain impales Hero with iron rod in stomach. Hero writhes in pain but pulls out the rod and hits the Villain with it.
  7. Exciting fight sequences with brave camera work…or something. For example, when the Hero swings a punch, it’ll be fast-forwarded, but when the gundas are lifted into the air by the force of the punch, it’ll in slow-motion. Terribly exciting.

***

The Aamir is dead. The Shah was never all that alive, anyways. Long live Dibakar Banerjee.

24 comments:

Saad Akhtar said...

Wait... he gets stabbed in the stomach, then pulls it out and beats the villain with it?

That's hardcore. The only thing more hardcore than that would be getting your leg shot off, then using that leg to beat the villain to death.

hitch writer said...

South Influence in Movies is deadly... especially their action scenes... they are out of the world....

Tell me if there are two villians running and if a south hero has one bullet how would he shoot them ????

SIMPLE He will throw a knife first... than fire a shot in a manner that the bullet with hit the knives edge and get cut into two !!! Obviously they two halves will get the two villians !!!!!


Ha ha...

STR said...

nice reviews... neway, ghajini was inspired by memento. btw, wsup.

Pranay said...

aamir is very much alive dude...he just tried sumthin new..srk is on life support tho...

Hatikvah said...

Notwithstanding A. Murga...whatever manning the directorial post, you only have the hero pulling out an iron rod from within him? Now that's positively subtle. If Rajni or the likes were there, they would have repealed an entire shot from a RPG or something. Satire has always been a favourite genre of mine, which makes these posts an enjoyable read, especially the one on Mr. Zardari...

ashes said...

I think the iron rod scene is inspired from Terminator 2. The director would have forgotten the robotic aspect.

Tazeen said...

who is this Banerji guy?

Sarit said...

The Banerji guy is a director who makes 'realistic' cinema...therefore, you don't know him. Does Khosla ka Ghosla ring a bell?

Hades said...

@Saad: Dude! That would make the movie unrealistic. We wouldn’t want that, now would we?

@Hitch: Agree with that. There's a lot of South Indian influence. The movie reminded me of the Rajni films I've watched in the Hostel.

@STR: Wassup, my man. Welcome to The Blog and all, boss. And add me on gtalk.

@Pranay: I sure hope so, dude. I can't stand to see Aamir like this.

@Hatikvah: Yup, Rajni does tend to overdo it a bit (watch how he literally whips up a storm here). But then its still fun to watch and ridicule, even if I can't understand what he's saying. Aamir doing that broke my heart.

And thanks for liking the stuff on offer.

@Ashes: Well, that scene has been done to death in the Hindi films of the 80s and early 90s, too.

@Tazeen: 4 Words: Oye Lucky Lucky Oye. A sort of 'Catch Me if You Can' with Dilli characters. Brilliant, is the word.

@Sarit: Somehow that gives it such a hoity-toity tag—the word ‘realistic’, that is. I found both his movies extremely funny, though unlike most other movies that carry that tag.

Anonymous said...

"Imagine if the killer’s name had been, say, Ravi—best of luck finding the killer then, chump."

ROTFL!

Anonymous said...

OK i jus watched d movie n want 2 vent my frustration. Wat d fuck is happening? bollywood standards now headin south? n amir? why on earth? n where's d fuckin originality gone? nolan started off with memento n we have watered it down to a second bullshit retake on it, on the same year he's reached a pinnacle with dark knight. This movie is 4 d fuckin morons who cud not make any sense of d original.
I watched Rab Ne... yest n i thought it was a bit overrated till i saw dis. (n i was dying to see dis) This jus wasn't Bollywood. Dis was Fuckin Tollywood shit. (n iv seen better Tamil shit than dis)
I'll watch Taare Zameen Par jus 2 remind myself Amir's still around.

Fuck, Sivaji was better dan dis. at least it had rajani. They cudn't even come up with any memorable dialogues for dis crap. does any1 remember even1 after watchin dis? all i can remember is amir snortin and thumpin worse than a fuckin gorilla n not even one action sequence was worth remembering. i wish i suffered from short term memory loss so i can forget i watched this fucked-up shit.

For his body and acting... instead of scribbling shit on it, they should have painted it green and actually cast him a remake of HULK. Then there wud be two hulk remakes this year. That wud hav been more creative than this shitload.

n who the fuck is A.R. Murugadoss? Fuckin spic

Anonymous said...

you mean "LOIS Lane" love

FlotsaM said...

Apart from the "hulk-like" resemblance, and gravity defying action stunts, you could have delved a little more into the acting prowess displayed by Amir khan in the flick. The film is a one man show.

Rakesh said...

You know, I saw your title post and saved this read untill I'd watched the movie and written my own review. Coz. I was expecting the movie to be great and you to be a dumbass for not liking it.

My apologies Hades... The movie is Dumb but what pains me is that it's an AK movie we are talking about.

Hades said...

@Anon 1: :D

@Anon 2: Desh ko tumhare jaise naujawano kee zaroorath hai

Keep it up. It's up to us to change the system.

@ Anon 3: Yes, I meant "Lois Lane", er...love.

P.S.: You horoscope for the day is here

Flotsam: But I hated Aamir in this avatar. To each his own, I guess. Plus, I really didn’t (or can’t) review this movie…just put down a few of the absurd stuff that I noticed. So do ignore any omissions…

@Rakesh: I understand your pain, my friend, I really do.

JD said...

Ha ha...keep up the sarcasm dude...

Quirky Indian said...

"An Evil Man as the Villain. He wears thick gold chains and white pants."

Bappi Lahiri is the villain in Ghajini?

Both Rab and Ghajini sucked....Ghajini particularly so. And this is after watching Memento and the Tamil version. The Tamil version prepared you for the rape of a good film.

On Dibakar - thought Lucky was very inferior to Khosla, mainly because of a poor script. Perhaps the Jaideep Sahni touch was missing.

Cheers,

Quirky Indian

Satyajit said...

Think Aamir Khan is getting back at us for Taare Zameen Par. In TZP Aamir Khan gets screen time post the interval. Ghajini is just law of averages catching up.
AK must be saying "missed me? here I am"

Hades said...

@JD: Thanks, JD

@QI: Damn! Why didn't I put that Bappi Lahiri quip in my post? Damn, damn damn!

I actually preferred OLLO to KKG. I found its "message" of aspirations a lot more relevant. About the script...what didn't you like? I did find the ending a bit weak, though.

@Satyajit: Ha ha, yeah. Revenge of the Aamir!

Tazeen said...

btw, i caught glimpses of Amir khan in this film, he has bigger boobs than most of his heroines

Sameer said...

how come Amir remember that he forgets things every 15 minutes and not 20 or 40 minutes?
huh?

Tarun Goel said...

You have neaten the hell out of "everyone". Too good :)

Hades said...

@Tazeen: Moobs!

@Sameer: What if Aamir forgot that he forgot things every 15 minutes? Aaargh!!

@Tarun: Thanks, my man.

shahrukh12345 said...

Hi,
I am Shahrukh Khan, the king of Bollywood.
Catch me on http://www.shahrukhkhan.eu for lates movie and video.

SRK
Shah Rukh Khan


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