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Sunday, February 8, 2009

Gay Pride takes Violent Turn in Pub

Militant homosexuals attacked a pub in Mangalore last week, thrashing courting heterosexuals in a bid to bring attention to the plight of sexual minorities in India.

Witnesses say that the activists, in a fit of misogynistic rage, primarily vented their ire on the women, thrashing them mercilessly.

The leader of the group, Pramod Muthalik, confirmed that his men had indeed committed the deed. “We did it to protect Indian culture. Throughout our history we have celebrated homosexual love but look at India today. So we decided to give the heteros a taste of their own medicine and to remind India not to ape the west.”

India has several laws, enacted primarily by the British, making homosexuality a crime including the infamous Section 377. This act of violence against heterosexuals is seen by social scientists as a means of protests against the oppression faced by the LGBT community in India. It is even being spoken of in LGBT circles as India’s Stonewall.

Muthalik has vowed to wipe out this “curse of heterosexuality” from the country guaranteeing to remove contact between the two sexes which lead to such “unnatural and unIndian feelings”. He warned of severe consequence for any contact between the sexes, including mixed doubles Tennis matches. “A boy and a girl hitting balls in front of everybody is not good,” said Muthalik sternly.


Fire: LGBT activists burn Valentine's Day cards in Kashmir, which they say are “empty symbols of heterosexual love”. Photo by: AP

27 comments:

Siddharth said...

Dude this is brilliant!

Utter assholes these chaps are.

Indian Home Maker said...

So you are back, and how :)))
LOL

Anonymous said...

Cracked me up dude!!!

freespirit said...

This was one of my theories, and you've done justice to it! Awesome!

Paradox Philic said...

I love reading what you write. You crack me up, everytime!! :D

Brilliant.

@lankr1ta said...

I wish Muthalik and gang could read!

Secret Dhaka said...

Haha, fabulous post, Hades...the picture of niqabis is something else...mad google skillz too :)

Tarun Goel said...

Good one :)
Jai Sri Ram :D

Banno said...

Crazy times. Crazy deeds. :-)

Amit said...

Haha, that was funny, man... I think you should consider starting an Indian version of Onion.com :D

Btw, did you join http://community.livejournal.com/india_politics?

The Rat... said...

Muthaliks and Thackreys!! we belong to one happy country!! seriously!!!!

Quirky Indian said...

Ha ha.....great one again. :-)

Cheers,

Quirky Indian

Poonam said...

This was certainly good.

Solilo said...

This was a good one. First Pink chaddis now this...goons have had it.

Madhu said...

Great insight ..

Brilliant.

:D

Tazeen said...

Come on man, seriously???

Did Muthalik actually said that a boy and a girl hitting balls in front of everybody is not good?

I mean seriously?

Honestly, if it had come from a Pakistani Mullah, I would have no trouble believing it, but I never could have imagined that this could happen in India.

Satyajit said...

ha ha. Nice. Check out the Pink Condom Campaign to take on the Pink Chaddi campaign.

http://thepinkcondomcampaign.blogspot.com/

Shiv Sena should sue Ram Sena for hogging the glory

ankitagrawal said...

Great post indeed..
I guess our genres are almost the same :-)

Anonymous said...

I really enjoy reading your blog. Keep up the good work.

kanika said...

Incredible post, yaar.

These guys need a kick in the nuts, if they have them, that is.

Hades said...

Appreciate the comments, people.

@Tazeen: Ch*tiyapa transcends nationality.

@Satyajit: My God! Doesn't take too long for the fundoos to come up with (insert some religion's name here) is in danger. Pshaw!

Anonymous said...

Came over from Amit's hat tip on India Uncut and I'm glad I did. Really like your blog.

Pratz said...

Brilliant

Dhanya said...

awesome dude awesome... couldn't hav been better ! ! !

Proserpina said...

--->“A boy and a girl hitting balls in front of everybody is not good,” said Muthalik sternly.

LMAO.

Hades said...

Prosperpina. :P

Proserpina said...

Hades. ;)