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Friday, January 16, 2009

We Need More Reservations

There’s been a lot of brouhaha over reservations ever since the British got fed up of us and left. First it was the Dalits. Quite logical, since after being oppressed for centuries they do need affirmative action. Then, of course, some 50 years later Arjun Singh informed us that even the OBCs needed help with their ABCs. So seats were reserved for them in our education system.

So far so good.

But I ask of you, aren’t we missing out a vital part of our population that needs help from the State? Yes, dear reader, I’m talking about our children (by ‘our’, I mean children generally. I myself have no children...seriously). They need all the help they can get from the State, simply because they are, in one word, dumb.

Think about it. Do you know anyone dumber that, say, a five-year old? Other than a four-year old, that is. And I’ve seen it myself. My two-year old cousin can hardly recite four-line nursery rhymes and her parents have such low expectations from her that they go into raptures every time she crosses ‘P’ when reciting the alphabet.

And this isn’t just a problem with children related to me, mind you. It’s all pervading. At a neighbour’s kid’s birthday party, one child had a hard time grasping the concept of the game, 'Passing the Pillow'. The idiot would refuse to pass the pillow, while playing ‘Passing the Pillow’. Needless to say, Musical Chairs was completely beyond him.

People who oppose reservations for children do, of course, try and make up a million excuses in order to explain this remarkable lack of intelligence visible among non-adults

Some people blame the parents. However, more often than not the parents are helpless in the face of such massive obtuseness. One couple bought their one-year old bundle of joy to the theatre to watch ‘Body of Lies’. I’m sure they expected their kid to learn much from Ridley Scott’s indictment of American foreign policy in the Middle-East. But alas, it was not to be. The kid just cried throughout the whole movie, in spite of his parent’s grim determination to not take him out of the theatre.

Of course, people also say, “let things like growing-up work and the children will get smarter. Give it time, baba”.

Bullshit.

To disprove this naïve assumption, all I have to do is to take Raj Thackeray as an example. He’s grown up, hasn’t he? But has he become any clever? Nope. In fact, I bet, Raj, as a kid, refused to pass the pillow at birthday parties. Or maybe he only passed it to the Marathi kids.

Now tell me, don’t these kids, disadvantaged as they are by nature, need our help? Shouldn’t we, as responsible citizens of this country fight for what’s right? Can we afford to deny our little ignoramuses reservations in our educational institutes and in our workplaces?

So do the right thing and support reservations for children in our institutions. Do it for a stronger India, if nothing else.

19 comments:

Ajit said...

hahahahahaha :)
good one mate....
Then maybe children will also become part of vote bank politics :P

nobody said...

>>Or maybe he only passed it to the Marathi kids.

Ha ha! :D

anishmitra said...

amazing one dude...you should seriously think about making a collection of all posts and write a book or something.

rampantheart said...

LOL! This post cracked me up! Keep the great words flowing! Kudos!

Rakesh said...

I'm all for it... Err, where do I pass the pillow (buck) now?

Raj Thackrey, seriously, this man is God for stand up comics who make a life out of ridiculing ppl... Sadly, he threw Shakeel out. I'd really like to see Shakeel ridiculing him...

Pratz said...

hahahahahahahaha ....Or maybe he only passed it to the Marathi kids....lolzzzzzz....

Fully grown fuzzy Hipposaur said...

I keep scrolling back for more, every time. Keep 'em coming!

crazy devil said...

good one dude

Satyajit said...

every problem has a solution my friend...
Beat em enough and you will see results. When you smack them on their rumps with an cricket bat (MRF side-up) you will see results trickle in.
Darsheel for example needed no Aamir Khan....what he needed was a good smack bottom.
More on TZP here:
http://cleanragamuffin.blogspot.com/search/label/TZP

Banno said...

That was really funny. You are going up on my blogroll if you don't mind.

Paradox Philic said...

Seems like you were in the same theatre as me to watch body of lies...
:P

Tarun Goel said...

Raj Thackeray turns up every time in your posts :P
Indeed kids need reservation, old as well.Then why leave eunuchs,teenagers,grown-ups,.Everyone needs it.Give some to me as well :)

Hades said...

@Ajit - Maybe?

@nobody, Pratz - :D

@Anish - Thanks.

P.S: Know any publishers?

@Rakesh: Seriously. Writing this blog would be a lot tougher if it wasn't for good people like him.

@ Rampant Heart, Hipposaur, crazy devil: Thanks, boss.

@Satyajit: OMG! I hope you don't mean that?

@Banno: Thanks for adding me to bum-bum bholle land :D (did i spell it right?)

@Paradox: Lol. Maybe but then again I'm sure there must be a kid bawling in almost every Indian theatre.

It is at times like these that I realise the importance of family planning.

@Tarun: Raj is like the fat, chashmish guy on the school bus. Easy to make fun of.

P.S: I'm fat and I wear glasses.

ONE said...

awesome.. lmao..

Hades said...

Welcome to the Blog, Sir. And thanks you for liking the stuff on offer.

Aur kabhi hume bhi call kar diya karo.

akhil said...

not sure how any of this talk of reservations applies to children? Certain groups have reservations because they are in the minority and are generally discriminated against. Not to say that the whole reservation system is good, it sucks but I dont see the connection. More importantly kids are far more intelligent than most adults, especially Indian adults who have never been encouraged/taught to think for themselves and form their own opinions.

Hades said...

You, Akhil, are hereby denounced as a fascist reactionary who conspires to keep the tolling proletariat in perpetual slavery.

shail said...

Simply loved this post!

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